Yesterday I watched the movie: My Big Fat Greek Wedding (yeah once again, just about reaching a zillion views by now...) But even now, this one sentence in the movie struck me more than ever before:
"Don't let your past dictate who you are, but let it be part of who you will be..."
Well, our very famous Sherlock Holmes would have said: "That's elementary, my Dear Watson." but then it's normally those elementary things we end up neglecting/messing with. So Mr. Holmes, you should not be mocking Dear Watson... :)
Over the past some time, I have been trying to be someone....someone who I am (probably) not. In the hindsight, I feel that I have done things that I should not have done...! But then, a lot of what I did were based on my past...hence the opening line that somehow struck me.
My year started with a lot of turmoil...things happened in a jiffy. It seemed that everything that could go wrong (or even the ones which I would have never expected to go wrong), went wrong, all at the same time. Nothing seemed to be working then. All that I could think of was: "Why is all this happening to me?" OR "What have I done to deserve this?". It was just about the approach which seemed to be all negative then. It was as if I was standing in front of a mountain and I was just about cursing myself "How the heck did I reach here?" OR "What wrong path I took that I ended up here?" rather than trying to find ways to cross the mountain (somehow)...! I was living in a sea of problems rather than finding/building a boat to get through...!
In the later part of the year, I was at the cross roads...! I had to make some very important decisions....! It had reached a point of frustration (to some extent). Sounds funny now, but I was at a point where I was searching on the internet anything that could possibly motivate me...any inspirational quotes, any special stories...and it was then when I came across this:
"Fears over tomorrow and regrets over yesterday are twin thieves that rob us of the moment"
This was probably my Eureka moment...this was exactly what I was doing...I was worried what would happen when I would be in India (my most probable future at that time) - worried about people, especially so-called 'close relatives', worried about the time that I will have to spend to fetch a good job. To add on to it, I was regretting about what I had been through just a couple of months back (my near past...).
Somehow, this one sentence changed my line of thinking...made me more focused about what I had right at this moment rather than thinking too much about my past and my future. Of course, this is not something I was able to achieve (or rather am still striving to achieve) in a moment of truth, or a day, or a month...but certainly it gave me a much clearer thought process. I was stuck in the deadly loop of past and present (both of which are not in my control) and hence was neglecting my present. It is not as if it changed the situation I was going through then, it just changed my perception towards it.
After a hard year, I can certainly say that my last month has been somewhat more stable...probably GOD planned to end my year on a good note OR probably he just wanted me to realize that we need to work hard to achieve if we want something from our life. Perhaps, it was HIS way of reminding me...just waking me up of the dream run I have been through the year before (2010). I am sure this is not the last time I am going though a rough phase in my life, certainly not (and I hope not)...as true character of a person is tested, not in good times, but in difficult ones.
Seems like it was just now that I came to Trondheim...a place where I knew no one from before...just carried with me a hope and a will (and my couple of bags :) ). Now after two eventful years in Trondheim, after meeting loads of people, and making some friends (a few of whom will stay with me for a long time to come), I am again back to the place from where I started my Norwegian voyage...back to those whose first years in Norway coincided with mine. So my life has taken another circle...back to where it all started...hopefully for the good...but just remember to live in the present...!!!
An optimist...
